Original Old Testament Found Intact

Archeologists uncovered what appears to be the original Old Testament. The hand written manuscript was found in ruins just outside of Irbid, Jordan and is estimated to be over 5,000 years old. The fragile text was discovered in what is believed to be a drawer of a small bedside table in the remnants of a travelers inn where it was protected from the elements for millennia.  “We spent months carefully photographing each page to avoid damaging the friable parchment pages,” said Chief Antiquities Director Oleyhay Oleymay.

The translation from the Aramaic is remarkable in that there is a lengthy dedication inside the first page that reads:

“My dearest Lydia – Please enjoy my latest novel. I added some racy sections that may appeal to your prurient interests. Check out Genesis 38 and Ezekiel 23 for starters.

You will undoubtably be pleased that I’ve already started on a sequel which will have more really, really crazy stuff. I mean bonkers crazy. The protagonist is killed and comes back to life as a zombie blathering like a lunatic and becomes a local Svengali.  If the book has legs, there’s the potential for serious merch.

Truly yours,

Yahweh”

The antiquities director went on to state that once the manuscript has been stabilized it will go on display in The Jordan Museum.