Why I Started Smoking at age 74

Chester Minit, a 74 year old non-smoking resident of Santa Rosa, California made headlines last week when he announced that he started smoking cigarettes this year.

“I’ve always loved the image of smoking and decided at 74, what do I have to lose? I mean, listen, I’m in excellent health, never smoked a day in my life. Why not enjoy some of life’s pleasures? And let’s get this cancer thing out of the way - I’ll likely die of something other than lung cancer or emphysema. Those things take decades to develop. More importantly, it’s about time for me to work on my Bad Boy image to attract the gals, if you know what I mean.”

When asked what brand he’ll smoke, Mr. Minit said, “I started on Lucky Strikes and thought about changing, but read the ad saying all these MDs are smoking Lucky Strikes. It isn’t the most rugged look, but it will do for now. Plus, when I get flak from my doctor, I can show her this ad. I’m open to other brands if Lucky’s don’t cut it. Didn’t Rod Serling smoke Camels? Might try them at some point.”

Asked what his physicians advised when he started smoking, Mr. Minit said, “What’d you expect? They’re almost apoplectic in their condemnation of my smoking.  I’m not surprised, but remember the docs at the clinic think they are going wild when they open the fridge door when no one is looking and drink milk out of the carton.  I need more than that, so I'll keep on puffing.”

As the interview ended, Mr. Minit strolled over to the nearby Circle K to buy another pack.